NEW ADDITION TO THE WOO-STER VOCABULARY:

So I just come back from Reno, NV from an annual mini-golf invitational with co-workers and friends, and thought, "what a great weekend!" Of course during weekend we joked around like we always do. However, on the Saturday, we were given tickets to a comedy show, featuring Bill Engvall. Mr. Engvall went at length to talk of his recent doctor's check-up visits to do those coveted prostate and colonoscopy procedures that every middle aged man will most likely sing about into their 50s and 60s. During the course of the night his act covered a whole range of topics: family, enimas, women-n-boobs, and of course, redneck humor. As a product of the midwest, and having family that lives in a part of the south, I've been exposed to my fair share of redneck jokes and people. But I won't go into much detail, because I have taste, and taste matters!

But....

But when the silliness in me beckons to be unleashed, well, the senses are heightened. So, I'm at my 2nd home (formally known as Costco), and I come across this book: Redneck Dictionary III: Learning to Talk More Gooder Fastly by comedian Jeff Foxworthy. I walked past the book the first time, stopped, then went on to go grab the things I came to get for the house. Since it only took about 10 minutes, I went back to the DVD/Books section (not thinking about the book) to see if I missed some new releases or cheap deals.

And then...

And then I walked by this book again. I picked it up, looked at the back cover, did the fan-flip of the pages, looked at the $9.29 price sticker, and then well shoot, might as well look at one page in this book to see what it's about....

And it is HILARIOUS! You know how sometimes you have those moments where you are in a public place, and you hear or see something funny, and you just kind of laugh outloud? Ok, ok, usually you're with someone - I happened to be alone.

Lucky me.

So on each post going forward, I will be including a "word of the day" taken straight from the book. For legality sake, I will reference the book after each excerpt, cuz I'm cool like that. I'm not THAT silly enough to come up with my own, but I figure you expose yourself enough to these things, something's bound to light up.

Sound good? You may have to re-read it if you don't get it the first time. If you got some redneck in you, well shoot, it'll be as natural as dirt on a freshly mowed lawn. (People wonder why I have such a disjointed sense of humor. So do I.). But c'mon, you know you got a little bit in you somewhere :P

Here's is today's Word-of-the-day:

abil - i - ties (ĭ-bĭl'ĭt-ēz), n. and noun. a statement of charges for services rendered and subsequent action to be taken by a specified male person. "I don't care if he's broke, Ma, the house payment's abilities got to pay."

(taken from Redneck Dictionary III by. Jeff Foxworthy)