Better people --> Better self

Ever had that realization of being around people that make you want to be a better person just by being around them? You know 'em when you see them. You want to gravitate toward them, learn from them, hang with them. Of course for me it wasn't always like that.

Here is my journey.

I remember when growing up, me and my friends would hang, chill out, play games, go to the mall to scope out chicks...(did I just write that outloud?...maybe it's an mid-west thing)...basically do fun stuff. There was of course that stint of time where I tried to make friends with the "wrong crowd", disguised as the "in crowd". For example, when I was 12, there was a 15-year old dude who introduced himself to me as "Susan B. Anthony". Had no clue at the time--I was a little gullible then. This kid managed to turn my then best friend against me (which lasted about a month) and managed to get me into vandalizing property with him, citing that such and such ripped his mom off and he needed to get back at [fill in the blank]. We smashed in windows, broke into private property, snuck into construction sites to mess the materials around. I finally ditched that and tried to fit-in with the "popular clique" at school. I even cuffed my jeans like them! Nothing. Here I am, little Asian kid in suburbian Westlake, OH, trying to fit in; be accepted; find my niche...be "cool".

Whole lotta "cool" got me in trouble.

Fast foward to high school. After relocating from the mid-west, it was time to restart. Make new friends- hopefully more helpful and fun, but in a good way of course. My high school had about 4,000+ students. Bound to be lots of good kids in the crowd, right? But being new to the area, my first thought, well sh--, where do I start? (I had a sailor's mouth; never really been to church up to that point, at least that I consider impactful). Overwhelmingly, I became lost.

So after about 2 years of hanging out in the student commons watching the best-of-the-best play foos ball (yeah foos ball sucka!), being anonymous was growing on me. Outside of school, the church I "had" to attend with my aunt & uncle, seemed like the same thing as school. The youth didn't seem any different from the kids at school other than 0-swearwords, and smart times 10^x power. (not to mention I was totally culture shocked coming to CA because I had never been around so many Asian folks before). It was hard for me to relate to anyone, no one really to hang and connect with. [sigh]. At least here in CA, I was now among "average height".

Then one day, during my junior year of high school, in English II, 6th period, I made my first friend...well rather he made me his. Albert K. We had a group project for class, and since we sat next to each other, it was convenient. For some strange reason we connected and started joking around. We laughed so hard; we connected. And to my knowledge, he was pretty smart. So one day, he invited me to join him to meet his friends during one of the lunch periods (because there were so many students, lunch was divided into 2 periods among students). He brought me to the back ampitheater where....Halleluiah!!..Halleluiah!!...more Asian folks!!! (there was some mixture, but they were the minority)

There was a whole mess of them in this area, monopolizing a good section of the premises. There were folks doing homework, some studying for a quiz, some just hanging out and kickin it and all eating lunch at the same time. Man, it was the other extreme of being overwhelmed! Albert introduced me to, man, over 30 friends. And a lot of these folks were smart! Not the kind to really shove-it-in-your face, but driven, pressured by parents (to an extent), and naturally gifted. And everyone liked to joke around...no one was really "square"; everyone had a unique personality. And strangely (for me), I could connect with almost all of them. In no-time, I said good bye to foos-ball (later suckas!!) and joined my new enclave of friends on the other end of campus. These folks had an uncanny and personable way of making folks feel inclusive. To my knowledge only a few went to church of some sort. Before my time, the majority of them had history together dating back to elementary school. They were respectful to the teachers, to one another, to their parents (well, most of them), and to others throughout school. They became the friends that I wanted learn from, hang with...I wanted to be a better person with them. I finally came out of my shell. Sh--, this is f---ng cool! (still had a sailors mouth...I trained myself to control it). I don't think I would have done as well, or been as motivated at the tail-end of high school without the gang.

Uh oh, this is getting long...better bring this home soon...

When college came around, I had become a Christian, and got myself plugged into a fellowship on campus with...you guessed it...more Asian folks!! They're everywhere!!!! What is this the twilight zone?!!!! j/k, I like my peoples. I've learned to get in touch with my own roots here in CA--still so much I need to learn. Anyway, again I made many new friends, and with higher purpose. In short, my college friends and fellowship taught me valuable lessons in community, integrity, hard work, and selflessness. I know I'm not anywhere near perfect in a lot of areas of my own life, but by a touch of grace, and hard work, I've learned to surround myself with people that model various facets of qualities that I admire, and respect. No more "Susan B. Anthony" characters for me. (with all due respect to the real Susan B. Anthony and her work). I had a PHAT time at UCR!!!

I could go on and on about co-workers turned long-time friends, who have knowledge and experience that I have yet to encounter. We each have grown and are slowly moving up the ladder of the corporate world. Their genuinenes and work ethics have been constant instruction in my still young career. I've had my slip-ups, and setbacks, life has simply taught me to not give up. I hate giving up!!! As long as there are people willing to accept me as collegue and friend, I will learn everyday to be a better worker, and better person. And not so much that I have to be; I want to be. The right people make the difference.

Church. I cannot forget the congregation...for my gangsta nation!! Ha ha, that doesn't make any sense, but I bet anyone reading this will still know what I mean! Well all my friends are my brothas and sistas. The church that I call family have been, to an ever increasing degree, just that- my family. They bear fruit that doesn't grow on trees, but the 'fruit' that grows from the heart--and the heart that seeks God. The people are my teachers and my testimony.

So here's a PHAT shout to all the peoples in my life. Thanks for being who you are...yeah, you know who YOU are!!